We Love Early Detection - Just Not Enough to Make it Actually Accessible

catch it early, they said, but not that early

My friend and former colleague Stephanie Green died of metastatic breast cancer in 2011. She was 35. Thirty. Five. She was a brilliant writer, a total badass, and one of the funniest people I’d ever met. And it fucking sucks that she died so young. After she was diagnosed at the absurdly young age of 32, she became a PSA machine, yelling at all of us to get our mammograms in our 30s. I listened. I went to my OB-GYN at 29 and asked for a mammogram. I was told no. No symptoms, no family history, too young. The official screening age at the time was 50 (it’s now 40, thank God, but that’s still a hell of a long time to wait while cancer’s on the rise in young people.)

So when I finally hit the golden ticket age of 40 and got my very first mammogram, guess what it found? Four—four!—lesions in my breasts. All benign, but now I get them monitored twice a year like some sort of walking breast time bomb. And sure, they are benign, but what if one of them hadn’t been? What if one of them had been the real deal and I’d spent the last decade blissfully unaware because I was “too young” to be checked?

That is essentially what happened to me with my colon cancer, because unfortunately, the screening age is not 40 (or younger) for this disease.

Articles about colorectal cancer in young people are everywhere right now. Even if you’ve never searched “blood in stool” (in incognito mode, obviously), you’ve probably seen these news pieces. And honestly? Good. People need to know. Colon cancer is on the rise in people under 50. That’s you, fellow Millennials. You are now the target demo for Metamucil, not Coachella.

This spike in cases led to the official screening age being lowered from 50 to 45 back in 2021. Progress! Except what if you’re under 45? What if you’re, say, 40, have no family history, feel fine, and are told you don’t need a colonoscopy because you’re too young?

Well. Let me tell you what happens.

At 43, I started noticing blood in my poop. I went to my doctor right away like most responsible, neurotic adults would. My doctor said it was probably hemorrhoids, and scheduled a non-urgent colonoscopy for two months later. Flash forward: colonoscopy, tumor, stage 3a colon cancer.

My surgeon said the tumor had been growing for years. Probably five to ten. And here’s the part that makes me want to scream into a pillow: over 95% of colon cancers start as polyps. Harmless little blobs that could have been zapped away during a routine colonoscopy—if I’d had one in my 30s. But I didn’t, because I was too young and too asymptomatic to qualify. And while I was busy trusting the system, cancer was quietly setting up camp in my colon.

I’m furious about this. We’re told “early detection saves lives” like it’s a slogan, but no one talks about how colon cancer often has zero symptoms until it’s already in the later stages. What, exactly, are we supposed to detect?

So here’s my very official, not-at-all-medically-sanctioned advice: Lie. If you’re under 45, go ahead and tell your doctor that your poop’s been weird. Say you saw a little blood. Mention you’ve been following the rise of early-onset colon cancer. Ask for a colonoscopy. Demand one, even. Do whatever it takes to get screened.

You know those bougie $10,000 full-body MRI ads you see on Instagram? I used to roll my eyes at them. Now I’m like, “Maybe not the worst use of ten grand.” An MRI would’ve shown thickening in my colon years ago. It might’ve caught my tumor before it decided to migrate to my lymph nodes.

Also: polyps are common. Like, very common. About a third of people have them. Get them removed, and your chances of getting colon cancer plummet. I had four polyps and a tumor. I had no idea. Zero symptoms.

If you have any symptoms—blood, changes in bowel habits, random stomach stuff—get seen. If the first doctor brushes you off, see another. GI doc-hop if you have to. And if you have a family history of colon cancer? You should be getting screened way before 45.

Moral of the story? Get a colonoscopy. Get it yesterday. I don’t care if you have to exaggerate, flat-out lie, pay out of pocket, or drive hours to be seen—just do it. Because right now, the healthcare system is not set up to catch this cancer early in people like us. So we have to advocate for ourselves. Loudly. Aggressively. Annoyingly.

Peace of mind is priceless. And so is your colon.